My heart is in a place of remission.
Instead of wanting to talk to someone, it now wants to be alone.

My heart has laid down the fight, it can take no more.
Instead of reaching for a physical touch , it now leans inward to find Gods inner core.

My heart has found a new place to live.
Through maturity and growth, 24 brings an unexpected relief.
Instead of depending on a man to give words of beauty and comfort, it seeks a higher power, a love that is everlasting to me.

My heart is numb and seems to be without feeling,
A wall has approached it brick by brick, one at a time.
Instead of waiting for him to call, so I can feel justified and validated, I now allow him to wait for me to see if the clock will chime.

My heart is out so now you must leave a message.
Instead of looking for a companion, it seeks to be a friend, already knowing something’s, but learning to wait for the unexpected.

My heart will now smile and laugh, but due to the pain it has endured the outer shell has hardened, toughened. It no longer expects anything from anyone, esp. you.

My heart has changed. Life has made a renovation of the atriums and their walls.
Instead of seeking love, love will now have to seek and find me, her.

Her, my heart is now the most precious thing in my life, second to my Lord Jesus Christ.

She, my heart, I will care for and love.
Instead of putting her out there with no guard, I will seek her to make she is covered and kept afar.

My heart and I are in a fight!
Instead of me allowing love to come in freely, I have placed and lock and chain.

My heart says that even through the scars and pain that she sees in the mirror of my reflection
She… will…. Love…. again.

My heart forgives before I do, so even though she is in remission now, she will revive again.

My heart is strong, and I trust her. When she is ready, she will be vibrant as I use to remember.
Instead of me moving fast for what I want, and not what I really need…
I will now just be patient and listen to
Her….Me…. My Heart.

May 13, 2009


One response »

  1. Duchy know that your Mom Loves you very much, I read all of your Chronicles and I realized you are reaching out from the heart of all your struggles and fights of the enemy. This is a part of growing and maturing in Christ. You are speaking from the heart and God knows the way you take. You have a gift and talent of writing and poetry. Put it to use for the Glory of God and his kingdom. Every experience and battle of the enemy you have been in is to take you higher in the lord.Because of the type of Ministry God has called you into. Pray and fast consistently. Love Mom.

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