Disoriented Images


Have u ever looked through glass, and saw something other then what’s on the other side? U expect to see the exact same image as long as the glass isn’t tainted with some sort of effects. Looking around the glass, u glance to compare the two…through the glass and then without the glass. U expect to see the same thing. Now, why not look with the focus to see something different, something new you have never seen before. Some new details, some new color, shape, characteristic that you have never seen before. Wouldn’t that be grand? Same glass, no effects but only your outlook and focus has changed that which makes the difference.
We sometimes always want the glass that we look through to change what we see. U want it to be purple, so u get a special purple glass and look through it and what happens? U see purple. But what if you had looked through the original glass with the mind set that you are going to somehow find purple, and if not purple, your open to find another color. The color u do find just may be 10times better then the purple you thought u wanted.
I have grown up with certain filters over my eyes and ears. Shifting through distorted images that I didn’t really understand and only moving towards what I was familiar with and knew to look for. If it sounded one way, and looked that way…that must be the right way. Never opening my eyes to the bigger picture of the many , many different understandings that I could find. The word of God never changes, filters fair and true. It stands from the past, present, and future. Funny thing is people only still use the Word of God for one level of filtering, never to look deeper for a higher understanding and growth. Don’t put God in a box, the images before u through the plain glass has a lot more to offer then what your willing to open up too see.
This is for how I looked at people and judged my life. One glass, one book of scriptures, one life that only has one direction. When I got older, the images I seen and heard where more distorted, more confusing. My filters of scriptures seemed to only provide a discrete level of understanding. My faith, my love, my dedication was tested as I had to learn to apply my eyes to look a bit further and open my ears wider.
My images I see, have not clear direction before me, but I learn to apply my filters, when necessary while looking through the plain, clear glass…expecting too see something more, deeper, greater. Using the clear glass I have no choice but to trust God, my filters…that will always apply the word with understanding…my ways are not his ways and my thoughts aren’t his. My life is in his hands…my sins, my failures, my loves, and my pains. Someone told me, that I don’t see the bigger picture until its too late, because I move and say things to quickly. My filters are there, but I don’t know how to use them for more then what’s in front of the glass…I must look for more…and trust God that if he allows this to be in my life, I have to be willing to listen and hear either way. Whether I like the results or not.
Last point comes to mind, with the filters correct, pure clear glass, and a open mind…the distorted images can reveal what u may not want to see or hear, which sometimes leads u right back to trying to tweak the filters to your liking. Accept what u see, when u see it…listen to what u are hearing when u hear it. When the truth is revealed from the distorted images, it will always set you free, in the end giving u peace.

*Duchy!* written from her Blackberry.

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the Perfect man for Me….


As I close my eyes,
I can see him so clearly….
His face glows, as he smiles
Expressing words that come from long miles.

He is this man perfect for me, I only can imagine him the way I want too see…

The sky turns and shifts among time…
Hearts beat continuously…with out relief as they rhyme…

I wonder when I think of him, can he feel it in the atmosphere,
That my love is real, strong and true…only if he saw in me what I know to be something so fierce.

Irony, is the word I’m sure…to try to relay this complexity, as my words don’t flow with out hurting me.

I’m not good enough, or maybe just not his type…hell I guess I don’t speak the language he likes….

Expressing his love isn’t hard to do, but he writes it as he keeps me at distant level coming too…
I fight to remain silent as I feel to explore more…
He soon drives the door closed to the option of being together ever, adored.

Frustration penetrates my heart and mind as I try to understand….
How is it that I’m a great woman, beautiful and all…

u can say and address what I will do for another man…
Why am I not more then just the friend u call, here to do for u all I can.

I hear all your stories, I tell u mine. We laugh at how they don’t deserve our time…
Then why aren’t u mine?

U say these men, don’t appreciate and respect me,
When I have feelings for u…
U say I will make a man proud one day,
When I am running out of hiding words to say without tell the truth.

The perfect man for me, seems too be you.
Problem is, I can only see what the door u closed show through.

The men that approach me, don’t know how to be my friend,
As they only want the body as it stands…

How crazy is it, when things happen this way… The one man I love as I friend, can’t never be more…this day.

He never sees me as a woman he wants to have his hearts core.

The perfect man for me is out there, I just learn to wait for his open door, willing for me to explore.


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“Oh How I Wait….”


Oh how I wait….

The shift my feelings seems to be persuaded by ones true desire….

I have always dreamed and wondered what will be if I could only fly….

How time goes by,

Oh how I await,

For my rescue from this place, surrounded by confusion and chaos….

Peace hides from me, I sit and listen to the whispers of agony….

Each one reminding me, how they don’t love me…

Oh how I wait…

I wait to be loved, by one so true
Not moved by my hips or my thighs or the ideas that run through his mind

Forever not knowing why….

Oh how I await,

As tears roll down my face,
Creeping winds of a familiar place….

Haunt me, makes me believe…that my sanity comes and goes,

My mind leaves my body and soul…

Oh how I wait….

To be captured in fantasy, a world of pleasure…not tingled by flesh but words that comes with out rest….

A sweet melody to my ears, he comes oh so near…

Not with what his hands may do…but how his heart speaks words of truth.

Oh how I await,

To know that I don’t hate,
I just won’t accept

I’m not mean, I just done relate.

To your ideas or concepts of this world,
I’m a old school girl.

Oh my God how I await,

For my change to come.
I love me, and who I see
And one day, he will know that my body is flesh

My soul will never rest.

Time alone presents, understanding, focus, and those I have reprimanded…

For all u see, is not enough for me…

I await for u to love, care for every aspect of who I am, and who God called me to be.

I wait.


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I Wouldn’t Change “One” Thing…


HAPPY NEW YEARS! I am excited as this is my first blog of the New Year!! I am already looking forward to taking this blog to a new level this year and expanding my writing abilities.

Shout Out’s to my Home Church New Haven!!! What a mighty time we had in church for watch night service. I was determined to release all mess and foolishness from 2010 and leave it there, moving forward to 2011 and the blessing I await for daily!

I have many goals and plans I have set for this year but I will not move on any of them without feeling the true approval and leading from God. He is still my Lord and Savior and Head over my life, therefore I must seek him in all I choose to do and take part in within my life. I am so tired of doing things my way and upset when things aren’t where I desire them to be, nor where I know they could have been!!

I refuse to continue living my life with out clear direction from the Lord whom I trust and serve with all my heart. This year shall be the year of Establishment! I shall be established and focused as God moves! I wouldn’t change one thing of last year because I would not be who I am today! I praise God for all the tears shed, the broken heart, and the spirit of loneliness. It just gave God the opportunity to wipe those tears, mend and heal my broken heart and fill the void of loneliness by becoming my companion as I wait whom he has for me.

I seek his guidance and blessings with the continued Journey of “The Prayer of Jabez”. Asking God to Bless me Indeed, and to enlarge my territory within the realms of performing arts ministries. Keep his had upon me, always with me!! Leading me not into temptation, keeping me from evil, that I may not cause pain. I continue to pray in Jesus Name Amen!

Stay tuned!!! I have some creative writings coming up! So subscribe and tell your friends!! Be Blessed!!


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Day 3…….The Prayer of Jabez


Last night I had a dream, one that I am familiar with and know how that particular dream usually goes… But this time instead of my giving in, I stood my ground and was victorious! I know that this will begin a major warfare like never before, but I refuse to allow the enemy to think that he has victory over me! I started my fasting off very general… And because I drink caffeine, I begin to get a headache, along with sinus headache because I didn’t take the medicine. I have not only been fasting from social networks, I have also been fasting through the day from certain foods, to conversations limited on the phone till after 7pm at night. Today, as I pray this prayer, I will take this last day of fasting to a new level as I will only consume liquids and fruit. My phone I will completely turn off and will mediate and pray as I prepare to enter into the New Year tonight.

Focus Point today….

“He Looked at his (Jabez) circumstances and concluded, surely I was born for more then this!” Excerpt from “The Prayer of Jabez” Written by Bruce Wilkinson

Bless Me Indeed!! Enlarge my Territory!! Lord, Keep you’re hand upon me, keep me from evil and temptation I pray! Amen!!


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Day 1…….. The Prayer of Jabez


….. Today is the day I have started the fasting and I must admit my physical body is tired. Its amazing when u stop all of your normal routines and things u eat and just mediate at each moment at hand, you can do just fine without always stuffing your face with something not necessary. I have placed the prayer on my mirror and have begun a journal to mark my focus points of each day. I originally intended for this just to be to the New Years but I have desire to continue the separation from certain things to build up my spiritual strength, while learning more from this time with God.

I have found myself drifting off to entertain the thoughts of… ” You can’t do this!….you won’t hold out!….you will miss the attention of him and him…”. The Devil is a lie! I am more then a conqueror!!

Focus Point: Excerpt from the Book….

” When we ask God Blessings, we’re not asking for more of what we could get for ourselves..”

Bless Me Indeed Lord!


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“Washing of My Hands” Part I


“How did my hands get this filthy? I don’t understand?!”

I have been lead to go on a consecration and fasting for the remainder of this current year. If you are reading my Blog, I pray that you subscribe to follow my prayers and join with me for direction and guidance in your own life. I will keep the posting regular and consistent as I study and read the Word of the Lord. A book that I have read, “The Prayer of Jabez” has in flamed a move of the Holy Spirit within, that I could no longer ignore or deny. The time is now and I take on the challenge of the Prayer of Jabez! God Bless u and I look forward to the Words that not only will be manifested in my life but also in yours. In Jesus Name, Amen!! Stay posted as I journal my journey.

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying,

” Oh, that You would bless me indeed, enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!”. So God granted him what he requested.
I Chronicles 4:10

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