Gotta Let you Go, To get what’s mines…


Journal Entry


I had to let go of something that I didn’t want to so bad! Like a child with their pacifier or security blanket, they don’t want to let it go because it provides them comfort and peace. If you ever sucked a finger or thumb, it’s the same feeling. And when its taken from you abruptly, you find yourself upset and disoriented, like someone has just snatched you out of your matrix…. your perfect feeling world.

When a child cries or get worked up you need that comfort to calm down, then you feel like you can think clearly…. oh wait… yea! I use to suck my fingers… I have found myself still doing it when I cry or get really stressed.  But I have had to learn how to let it go and move forward when I get worked up over something.

Same thing when the Lord is chasing you and there is a calling on your life… you have to let go. You have no choice in the matter. To get the blessings that he has in store for you, you must walk in the calling. I will admit that its easier now, to let go of  foolishness then it was before. That’s any type of relationships.  Friendship I have had to let go for the purpose of growth within myself. Males I have had to let go when I seen that they are their only for the purpose to keep my down, and now when I see it and recognize it… it amazes me because it’s the same old stuff all the time!  SMH! 

I battled this past Sunday with letting go… I really didn’t want too, like a fat kid holding their ice cream cone…  I cried, I wailed, but I still didn’t want to let go… the Lord sent a messenger to me personally when I felt I couldn’t stand anymore because of the physical battle that was going on in my mind, body and soul. She spoke a word of comfort and of confirmation of the calling and purpose. I am designed for a purpose that I myself don’t understand completely.  I knew then It had to be let go.

Funny thing is, he let himself go. All I had to do was say the word which didn’t even get a response back…. I am sure he can’t even understand why it is the way it is… but I know. It’s God. And I am done walking on my authority as much as possible.  I know that I can make it… I just got to stop grabbing mess in the first place.  I trust God!

* Duchy!”


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