It continues to amaze me how this real life dating goes. The illusion that there is a happily ever after has truly faded away from the existence of my mind. I use to believe that a man and woman would date, fall in love, get engaged, get married, and some kids and be happy. Well, in my short years I have learned that this is not the case. We as people have made this so complicated. Now I use to think that it depended on if they were in church or not. Please. That has nothing to do with it. We as human do what makes us happy, and if that means, you know what you’re doing is wrong, you are willing to sacrifice that for something merely fulfilling ” Curious George.”
Case #1. He married her because she was pregnant, but didn’t nor does he yet love her. Now he imagines and entertains women that fulfills a void of love and companionship that is not achieved with the woman that he said, ” I DO” . You do what?? You don’t love her, your heart is with another and the only reason why you stay is because you are too prideful and sacred to really face the reality that you two can’t stand each other. Convenient? Yes. Safe sex? Oh yes! But what happens when you take that fire into the bosom and now you are ready to step outside that marriage… But any woman that he entertains is now his secret and must always await for the clearance to when they can been seen or talk…. SMH!
Case # 2: You have been with this woman for 5 years. Never cheated, never really wanted too because what u two got going is good. Don’t know if you will ever marry her, but she’s alright with it cause you take care of her. Now for the first time, your eyes wonder, and your interest has been piqued by something young and new. The idea of the touch of her body is compelling to his dangerous side. The risk of the damage of the relationship is high, but his animal to kiss her body continues to rise! When that door knocks, what will he do when he answers this time…..and again, when the main woman is home, the lil secret doesn’t get a response and is to ” understand” that his woman is now there and he can’t respond….SMH!
Case # 3 : The man has fallen in love with a woman who is real, but he is not in a good place nor wants the title of a relationship. But the casual sex and hanging out is okay, and the understanding if she wants to move forward with someone else, that is okay too. He will take whatever he can get, and how much she is willing to offer. No matter how deep it takes her with her love and feeling with him. He may pull away and say mean things to her, only to keep that reminder that she is not his girlfriend, and every time she feels the hurt of that realization… she leaves hoping one day he would chase her… but he never does because he can’t chase love when he is running from it.
Here was just three scenarios of so many, that are so true in this world, but the key for a real woman is to learn how to see it and recognize it from far away and consistently pray! Not to continue to fall into the snares of the enemy, as he uses the desire of love and happiness to keep you wrapped up in bondage of soul ties. ” He will only do what you allow him too!” Said a dear friend of mines. Set your boundaries early, and let it be known where you stand. You are not a game piece or a toy. If he wants just a friend to be coo with then let that be that, but not expecting more physical than a good hug. Your value is great, and when you wait, that right man will see that in you.
The song from India Arie simply states…
And almost anyone will do to fill your idle time
But that very special someone,
You can share all your dreams with is so hard to find”