Have you ever had to stand up on your feet for hours and hours at one time? Your legs, feet, and back begins to hurt and grow weary every additional second your moving and standing. All you want to do is sit down and take a break. A break from the pain, a break from the hurt, a break from being tired. When you stand you must stand tall and strong and be able to still keep moving without dragging your feet to slowly. But that becomes the hard part, when you have to keep moving with those hurting feet and aching.
I am on the edge of snapping in my mind, ready to release the true physical expressions of how I feel. Right when you are ready to crack and inflict harm to something or someone, there is “that” which makes the difference between you and the next person,… when I truly want to curse and do harm, I can’t. The Holy Ghost yet still rises, because it knows my heart! It knows that in the mist of the pain, and the anger… I yet still love the Lord and want what he has for me. My mind is clouded and my judgement is a bit vague but my heart is secure in the Love of the Lord. The pain of standing is ridiculously excruciating and I want nothing but to take a rest from the fight. But my soul is anchored and my mind is made up… so I can’t.
Right when my knees are ready to buckle, and I am crying OUT TO ANYONE, SOMEONE, PLEASE COME HELP ME STAND! There is a simple word from the Lord…. as I seek him just through a simple daily devotion of Pastor Rod Parsley… Why does God say to the Christian, “Come out from them and be separate” (2 Corinthians 6:17)? Because the more separate you become in Him, the more pure and powerful you will be for His kingdom. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). The purer your heart becomes, the more of God you will see—and the more of God’s presence will be seen in you.” http://www.rodparsley.com/DailyDevotions.aspx At this is the yet word I needed today. I know that the friends that were once were are no longer there because of Gods will, I know that the men that were once there are no longer here because of God’s perfected will, AND I KNOW that I have the strength to stand strong when my knees are so weak and want to give out…only…strickly… because of the glorious,intangible, amazing, will of God. And because I stood this time, seeking for spiritual and physical purification. I know I passed that test and my blessing is not to far away… My Prayer is always, Lord Please don’t let me fall… anymore. I will be okay… I know that… just getting through this phase is the hard part and I must be real with where I am and find my way back to my quite place …. his strength is truly prefect.
* Humbled continuously, Duchy*